True love is the cross. Marriage is the cross. My heart aches and my anger rages when I hear people say I want to get married but maintain my "independence." Marriage is diametrically opposed to selfishness. By simply relying on our own abilities, Men are destined to fail. Men struggle with selfishness, but when they finally give into the suffering of Christ, when they finally spend their time gazing on the cross, praying for humility and the strength to overcome their selfish desires, they find themselves being drawn more deeply into the divine gift of charity. Charity is the love that seeks the good of the other regardless of the cost to ourselves. This is the love that St. Paul says men are called to love their wives with. This is the love that Christ freely chose on the cross. Not some sugar coated nicey nice. Real grown up, manly, I am going to sacrifice the things that I want for myself in order to give myself completely as a gift to the woman whom I promised give myself completely to love. St. Joseph refused to let Mary experience shame. Fellas, do you refuse to let the woman that God has given you as a gift experience shame. If you are not committed to a free, total, faithful, fruitful gift of self for the woman that God has given you, you are not in the game. Your a third stringer riding the bench, and it's why you are always miserable. Because, you know the game is happening, you even desire more than anything else to play and contribute. But, you refuse to put in the work to get on the field. Pray, make the Eucharist the center of your life, go to adoration, pray the rosary, and ask Our Lady to lead you to a greater sense of who you are as a man, so that you can become the man that Christ needs you to be for the woman that He wants to give you. It is a sacrifice, it isn't easy and fun everyday, but, it is abundantly fruitful. You may recall the cross wasn't easy, but the fruit of Christ's sacrifice eternal and everlasting. The cross always is.
Pray for me. Pray for holy men and women to enter into holy marriages.